In midlife, motherhood and murky times
The act of ‘finding’ implies that something is lost. So, is this something we’ve lost or something we are yet to uncover? Why do we lose our voices? What causes us to lose our confidence, our sense of self and identity? Most importantly, how do we get it back? Perhaps we once knew who we were, but somehow it’s faded along the way.
As someone currently navigating the maelstrom of middle age, motherhood and perimenopause, I’m fascinated by this question: how do we hold onto our sense of self during life’s turbulent times? As we find ourselves buffeted by the winds of change, how do we stay our course? Or, do we seek out distant shores? How do we find the courage to sail into the unknown?
Well, cheesy maritime metaphors aside, that’s precisely what I’m setting out to do. I feel I have very much lost my voice in various ways, over the past few years, and I’m obsessed with this topic and in these liminal stages of life.
I am on a mission to get my mojo back and re-discover my voice. I suspect it’s in the doing; that finding your voice is in the using of it, which is why I’m embarking on this little project, to share thoughts, struggles, ideas. Basically to use my voice, instead of muting it and lurking in the shadows.
This is a work in progress. I am a work in progress (aren’t we all?) I hope that these discoveries might be useful to you too. I have a hunch that it’s through these times of upheaval that we find out who we really are. It might feel overwhelming and fucking hard, but in the crucible of change, the dross in burnt away and all that remains is… hopefully the real you. An alchemical voila! I’ll keep you posted on that one.
So, I invite you to join me on this voyage (ahem) of curiosity, vulnerability and uncertainty. I am going to try out different techniques and ideas and look at this question from all angles; personal, cultural, societal, biological, mythical - even mystical. I’m going to delve into topics that are murky or a little uncomfortable, things that need to be talked about, things that perhaps feel uneasy in the speaking. All this I offer up to you, who might be in a similar place, on a similar quest. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll find our voices along the way.